My First Mother's Day

It wasn't when The Girl was five months old.

It was when I was two months pregnant. Barely a belly to be found and still in my regular clothes. But I was pregnant. I was a mother. I felt in in my core and I knew The Girl would be a healthy and wonderful baby.

It was the First Mother's Day that I thought about myself for once and not the loss of my own mother. It was an awakening.

I had a purpose. A reason for living. I would make the best of this day and look forward to all that motherhood had to offer. (Little did I know that motherhood also meant ppd for me)

I was ecstatic. I was growing a life and everyone now knew it. I was treated like royalty and I enjoyed every soothing second.

Looking back, I knew there was something special about The Girl. I just didn't know her yet. I felt she was meant to be and meant to be extraordinary. I was right on the money.

She has given me a joy and a reason for being beyond any words expressed. I am forever grateful that she has enabled me to have my own Mother's Day. As bittersweet as the day is to me...she makes it all worthwhile.

I'm a little retrospective these days...forgive me.

Erin Go Bragh'Less

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!

You have to click on the picture to see the animation! Sorry.

Here are some interesting Links about the day:

The History Channel

About The Saint

Crafts for Kids

Irish Soda Bread

Green Beer

I'm not even Irish!
Too bad it's too snowy to go to the parade today!

AntiPamper Superstar

I am changing F's Pediatrician.
He's a dick.

I decided.

I can't continue to let him make me feel stupid for being 'overly' concerned about the ONLY thing that is important to me. And I can't let him continue to make me feel incompetent because my 3 year 3 month old is still in a Pamper. Fuck that.

I call to talk to him or make an appointment and his secretary is rude and obnoxious. To the point that I feel like I am bothering her. Oh! I'm sorry, did I bother you...at your job? (I am even having BD call to request her records be transferred...he will beat that grump at her own sarcasm and rudeness game by a mile...)

I get to see this doctor and he's so sarcastic (and I'm a HUuuuuuGe fan of sarcasm..see hubs) that I feel belittled. I'm all for sarcasm in the right place, but don't use it on a first time mom about her only child. It's just plain wrong. No matter how strong willed or competent that mom may seem. It's a thin veil and you're tearing it up. Dick.

If there are any doctors out there, especially children's doctors...Just remember that your patients, or their mothers are in a very delicate state when they are with you. They are probably insecure and worried. You really should think before you say something rude. And use kid gloves. (Pardon the play on words) They come in all different sizes. I'm sure you can find them to fit you.

So, that's it then. I'm changing her pediatrician.

I already called my daughter's original gastroenterologist from when she was a baby and we have an appointment at the end of this month. One down.

In my quest to find her a new doctor, I have asked around and her preschool teacher recommended hers. Right in our neighborhood. She says he is one that will welcome each and every seemingly silly query with respect and humor. He is one that will welcome me into his office with caring and honesty. He is not one that will make fun or be sarcastic to the point I'm doubting myself. Almost one to go.

Take that Anti-Pamper Superstar. You just lost your best parent.

God send the only true friend I call mine...

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

According to theknot I have been married to BD for...

2,021 Days!

He claims I never blog about him...But he's wrong. There's this special post today (Valentine's Day) ...there's more but I'm focusing on today...

There have been a few posts going around out there about how you met your 'significant other'. I met my husband in a bar. Drunk. The two of us. I was dating someone else and wasn't interested in him. Period.

How I fell in love with him was a whole 'nother story.

After a few botched up phone calls, we wound up dating.

On our first date, I knew I was going to marry him. I just knew. He was cute, sarcastically funny (he drove a gigantic Lincoln Town Car and asked me if I wanted to sit in the back like he was my town car driver) and the color of his eyes just blew me away (they still do, they are the most amazing layered blue.green.brown I have ever seen)...

He took me to the wrong restaurant where he thought he made a reservation, but didn't (there were two restaurants with the same name..opposite sides if the city)... and I also thought his last name was "Prada"...I was wrong. Very, very wrong. But that's not why I wanted to marry him...He was not my type at all and he had a job. What a novel idea! Before him, my Dad called most of my boyfriends "Oil Rags"...BD was different. I knew I'd marry him someday.

Later on during our first date, I found out the final game of the 1996 Yankees World Series was going on and he gave up watching the game with his friends to take me out. (He's the biggest Yankee fan ever!) If you only knew the dilemma he was facing prior to our date! It was a war in his mind for days but I was none the wiser. During dinner, he was disappearing to the bathroom every few hours to check the score and finally he fessed up and we went to a bar to watch the end of the game...They won. I prayed he wouldn't kiss me. We just hugged. Relief. He knew what I wanted and what I didn't want even before I knew it myself.

A few months later, he took me out for what became our first annual "Valentine's/Birthday Evening". It was a beautiful night. A little chilly, rainy and foggy...but that didn't bother me. I was looking forward to my surprise dinner. I had no clue where we were going and I was excited. He loves to eat and drink good wine so I knew it had to be great. Turned out to be the River Cafe. It's in Brooklyn and I have never been there...too fancy for my blood.

I was impressed and excited. He was disappointed. I couldn't understand why. It was foggy and he was mad. It didn't dawn on me until we sat down. Next to each other, against the wall... with the full view of the Brooklyn Bridge spread out in front of us along the wall of windows...Except the Brooklyn Bridge was immersed in a blanket of fog and was hidden from view. It was like we were sitting next to each other on the railroad, not at a fancy-schmancy restaurant trying to see the gorgeous view.

He was horrified. What was the point if you couldn't see the main attraction? The bridge?

I didn't mind. I ate like a pig, drank fabulous wine and had the best conversation ever. I fell in love that night.

He tried so hard and it didn't work out and he was so disappointed. I felt so bad for him. He was so upset. He cared so much about making me happy and I wasn't very used to that kind of treatment. He wound up getting me their famous Brooklyn Bridge Chocolate dessert instead to make up for the lack of view.

The key to my heart.
An attempt at romance using chocolate.
Sold!

I knew in my heart he had snagged it for good and I was head over heels in love. That was a wonderful night and it was the night I knew he was mine forever.

Eleven years later. We're still here. Going strong. Some ups, some downs. Some joyous times. Some uneasy moments...but all the while the love is there. In my heart. Forever.

He makes me laugh when I am not in the mood. He cares so deeply for his 'girls' and he would do anything to make us happy. What more can you ask for? And those eyes. I can see "Home" in those deep blue/green eyes.

In with the new...

I did make it to midnight. Barely. Thanks to Dog the Bounty Hunter and Entourage. It was the first time I saw the ball drop in at least seven years. I know...Partay Animal. You Jealous?

Anyway, the holidays are over and the birthday is over, time to get back to normal; take down the decorations (who hoo!) and live like normal people again. Whatever that means. I don't have any new year's resolutions (other than the ones created on blogthings) because I never adhere to them. I always say, "My new year's resolution is that I won't make any more new year's resolutions!"

Other than my dry, cracked and bleeding hands from fighting with all the packaging and twisties the toys come in, I hafta say, we made it through fairly unscathed. Yay me us.

The end of the year was fantastic. Fa's birthday was filled with love and gifts...Christmas was too. We went to BD's parents for Christmas eve and my Dad's for Christmas day.

Santa ate all his cookies during his visit while we slept and made a huge mess for me to clean up. Fa didn't know what to make of that. It was so cute. I loved watching her wonder about Santa. She was afraid to come down the stairs Christmas morning because she thought he was still here. We had to assure her that he was long gone and still handing out gifts under other people's trees in order for her to get downstairs to open her presents.

We got lots of great loot and cool gifts from family and friends. My brother in law and sister in law got us this book to try to learn how to train our dopey dog. I love that man, Cesar.

I got this cool 'Tiffany' necklace from family, this bracelet and money from Dad and this wonderful pair from F and BD. Things I totally didn't ask for. THAT is a great surprise!

BD got wine (of course) and his all time favorite thing in the world..Silafunghi. The man loves his spread. I don't see the beauty in it, but he does and that's all that matters.

F was bombarded with toys and clothes and didn't know where to go first. It was wonderful and exhausting. We are a lucky bunch.

I took Fa to get her pictures taken for her birthday and I loved seeing her act like such a big girl in the studio. I loved all the photos and she really had a ball. The best photo session ever...No tears whatsoever....Partay.

What a supermodel!

Of course it wouldn't be a true holiday without pictures of... our food.

(Those are potatoes and rosemary! And I swear they just fell onto the aluminum foil that way...)

Happy! Happy! and healthy 2007 to my family, friends and internet buds!

Happy New Year...Haiku

Five fifty P.M.
I've started drinking bubbly.
Snoring loud by ten!
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Missing this again.
Haven't seen Seacrest host once.
Guess that's a good thing.

We aren't going anywhere tonight...so I guess in my own creative way...I'm just wishing you all a wonderful 2007!!!

Have a Rockin' Christmas!

Christmas day is here...Enjoy it with family, friends and Charlie Brown...

Ho ho hope Santa treats you well...

Speaking of Santa....interested in the Chronology of Mr. Claus?

...And Firemarshall Bill as Santa...

And because I love this song so much...

Have a happy holiday and a jolly new year...see you in 2007!

Carol of the chins... Keep 'a singing...Keep 'a tippin'.

I went here the other day and typed in some Christmas song titles. They know 'em all...The best is their response when you type in curse words...Yeah, I'm a child.

Have fun.. Ho ho ho...

(My dad and I used to do this all the time when I was little...He'd dress up the chin and sing and talk and I got such a kick out of it. I thought he was the funniest man alive...He still is.)

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On an unrelated to chins note:

From my last post it seems I caused an uproar because I am the only arse in creation who tips their garbage guys. What the hell? No one else does that? I thought it was mandatory...

See, here's the story:

Before we moved where we live now, in our other neighborhood (which we didn't like) all our neighbors tipped the garbage guys. So, we joined along. We were told that they "take care of you" when you tip them. Now, I didn't know what that meant at the time...Did it mean they'd give me a mani-pedi every week? Would they give me a frickin' hand-job? Cause that's the kinda "taken' care of" I wanna be with such money flying freely...

No. You know what they do? They take your fucking garbage without a complaint and the put the cans back where they found them. Hmmm....sounds like they're already getting paid by the city to do that.

Know how I know that? Because the year our daughter was born, we were too preoccupied with thinking of paying the garbage guys their extra income, and we forgot to tip them. I was lucky I had gifts for the few kids we know that year. Ya, know?

It must've been Christmas eve or day (I couldn't tell you for sure because the entire week was a totally blur with the newborn home) and we hear the truck rumbling up to the cans and the guys scurrying around like roaches to get all the garbage on the block. Then, we hear, "Where's my fucking tip?" BD and I bolted upright in the bed and looked at each other. "They did not just say that!" We both said at the same time.

Yes, they did indeed say that. They never dealt with our garbage the same way again. We lost a can, they let garbage fall into the street and left it there...They wouldn't take the big stuff like tied boxes and cardboard. They basically made our life miserable on garbage day.

This year, this is our first Christmas in the new house and we don't want to piss anyone off. It is a SMALL town. The streets are very close together as are the neighbors, everyone knows everyone here...I think the garbage guys actually live in the neighborhood too. So, to avoid condemnation from the town, we tipped the garbage guys. A lot of tip. More tip than I ever made in a day as a cocktail waitress at an upscale bar. A lot of tip. Did I mention that the tip was big?

I run out...(in my makeup) to give the guys their envelope...This is the week after they told me I make the cans too heavy and I don't bring them to the side of the curb. If I tell you how close the side of my house is to the curb on our block, you'd faint. Anyway. I give them the envelope and wish them a "Happy Holiday". I go inside and watch them from the kitchen window. And I could swear I saw the little fucker open the envelope and sneer disapprovingly at the house.

I'll let you know next week when if they pick up the garbage again.

Five Christmas Songs that Don't Make Me Puke

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. I'm done gushing over my daughter's newly three year old status for a while...Okay? She's three...she's a pleasure to know, I am honored to be her Mom and I'm sure you're all sick of hearing it. Thank you friends for all the birthday wishes!!!

Got this meme thing from Ali. That I honestly hated at first, but now I love. You see, I hate despise Christmas music. All kinds...it makes me want to blow chunks. I used to love it, but age and memories got me to hating it with a passion...So I've been avoiding it like the plague. But then, I got tagged! This tag has forced me to confront my past and face my fears and accept holiday music as something to admire deal with and chuckle at.

Ali, you gorgeous woman, you 'nippletoe' loving lady...I'll try anything once. And I'm a sucker for memes...I know, I'm supposed to pick five faves...this is very difficult. So after much deliberation and serious contemplation I picked 5 songs that I actually get a kick out of. Here goes:

5 Christmas songs that don't suck.

1. Holy Shit it's Christmas by Red Peters
My all time favorite Christmas song. I love how funny it is and Red's play on words just totally cracks me up.

2. 12 Pains of Christmas by Bob Rivers. Another goofy favorite. Just love it 'cause it's not so serious. And this particular video makes me giggle.

3. Mistress for Christmas by AC/DC. Love that band. Love all their songs. Love that they have a Christmas song out there. Even if it reeks of adultery.

4. Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC.
I always loved this song. I guess because I'm from Queens and so are they.

5. Wizards in Winter by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. C'mon, how could you not?

And for your Holiday Pleasure...my favorite Christmas Movie...

Now, tag! You're it.

We decorated the tree today!

Yay us!
We put up the Christmas tree today.
We had a ball setting it up and putting the ornaments from
"the box" on the branches.

This is what it looks like in the corner of our living room.

Right to the side of the front door.

This is our beauty from another angle.

We had a wonderful day, filled with more tradition and fun.
I just adore my family!

Another tradition!

I'm on a roll here...boys and girls.
Last night, we took Fa to the village tree lighting ceremony here in town. It was freezing but there were refreshments, caroling, the Christmas Tree and the big guy himself. Fa could care less about the man in the red suit (we can't even utter his name in the house). So we didn't get any pictures of him. He was busy handing out candy canes to all the good boys and girls anyway.

A new tradition has begun! It was so much fun. We laughed and snuggled to keep warm...I took many pictures of the wrong tree before it was lit. Then, we went home and opened up Fa's third box on her Advent calendar...She looks so forward to that every night.

I am really getting into the Christmas spirit here. I am proud of myself because I am having fun while I am not forcing the issue...it's just coming naturally. Our holiday cards are almost finished. I just have to get some address verifications from BD with his family overseas, then I can send those suckers out too. Hey, I'm having fun. Cool.

At her age, Fa is really making this easy. She is excited and cautious all at the same time and I love that about her. I would love a Santa photo op. However, I have resigned myself to the fact, like the potty thing, that she will get to it on her own time. Once she truly realizes that the Red Man is cool, she'll totally give him her wish list.

In a few weeks my little baby girl will be a full blown three year old. Where has the time gone? I am so happy to be starting these memories with her. When she gets older, she may not remember last night, but I will and I'll remind her about it often even when she's too cool for her Mom. I am so proud to be her Mom and the title scares me sometimes. I just hope I can do it justice. I want her to be proud of me too. Whoever decided that I deserve her gets a big hug and smooch from me that's for sure. I am forever thankful for her presence in my life. I tell her every night since the day she was born; "Out of all the little girls in the world, I got the very best one!!!" And I am truly blessed.

A-Z of me + A New Tradition

Today's December 1st! I am starting a new tradition with my daughter. (yay me) I bought her an Advent calendar from Starbucks, (of course) to count down the days 'til Christmas and give us both something to look forward to. (I realize I am not teaching her the exact idea behind 'Advent' but I am doing what feels right for me...I am introducing the concept which we can research, or not, when she gets older and decides for herself)...I am very excited for her to see this calendar. I remember when I was a kid, my mom did the same thing with me. My Aunt would buy the calendar every year, and Mom and I would open it every night, piece by piece, day by day...I looked so forward to that little piece of chocolate! I begged to open it days sooner and she always told me, "Go ahead, but when you are done and there's no more chocolate to open...that's your problem." Ha! Whatta woman. Lay it all out there. So I am starting my first tradition with my girl. I am very proud of myself.

Also,
...I've been doing a lot of these lately...I'll just do them, they make me smile...if you read it and comment I love you for it, if you don't, that's okay too...

Thanks Mel...See, I told you I'd get to it...

A-Z of Me !!!

A - Available/Single? Married for 5 years!
B - Best Friend? SF, BD, K, G
C- Cake or Pie? Cake, chocolate, rich, creamy...yum.
D - Drink Of Choice? Coffee...injected into an IV if at all possible.
E- Essential item you use every day. The telephone. 
F - Favorite Color? Purple, or as we say 'round these parts...'poi-ple'.
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Yuck, neither.
H - Hometown? (born in ) Queens, NY
I - Indulgence? French Fries, Pizza, Chocolate, Sushi
J - January Or February? February...It's my Birthday!
K - Kids Their Names? 1, Farfallina
L - Life Is Incomplete Without? Hugs
M - Marriage Date? August Third
N- Number Of Siblings? 1 kinda, sorta brother...Hummm...I smell a post coming on...
O - Oranges Or Apples? Apples, with peanut butter
P - Phobias/Fears? Jesus...I'd be here all friggin' day. I'll just say yes.
Q - Favorite Quote? "Sometimes you have to jump, and build your wings on the way down"
R - Reason to Smile -My daughter
S - Season? Spring
T - Tag Four People? Now, I just won't do it...If you want to try this, go ahead.
U - Unknown Fact About Me? With this blog, there is none...Um, I love to sleep.
V - Vegetable you dont like? None...
W - Worst Habit? Complaining too much.
X - X-rays You've Had Recently.. My teeth...no cavities thank you very much.
Y - Your Favorite Food? Mexican, Japanese
Z - Zodiac Sign? Pisces...I don't smell like fish.