Today

Five years ago today, I married my best friend.

I can't believe how quickly 5 years ave passed. It's amazing how when you are a newlywed everything seems easy with your new life-partner. You can conquer the world and everyone in it because you have a back-up. You have someone who has your back no matter what. You have someone to come home to and to talk with at 3am when you are afraid. Someone who truly knows your inner-workings better than you know yourself. Then life happens. Work takes over, bills get paid and you fall into a comfort zone that might make you gain a few pounds here or there.

All of a sudden, you realize you're about to embark on a new journey...Parenthood. You think it'll be cake until the baby comes. You struggle with new mommyhood and wifehood and your job and you fall away from your husband just a little bit. You are a little bitter, disappointed and sad with the whole scene. You try to stay connected to him but you are feeling low in the self confidence department and incapable of doing it all. All the while, not even realizing that the man you married still has your back no matter what. Through fights and miscommunications and sleepless nights dealing with anxiety and PPD and so much more... he still has your back. He may not be able to tell you; you probably wouldn't listen. But he's there just like before.

Then one day, after much therapy, medication and self-realization, you wake up and understand that you have a fantastic life and a fantastic husband who has helped to develop a wonderfully fantastic little girl. You have it made. Is it hard?..Wholly shite yea, it's hard. But having a partner in crime like the hubby you rediscovered is really all you need to help you get through...

This is part of my (long) story. But I realize that I have a true best friend in my husband through thick and thin...all this time he's been there waiting patiently for me to get back to myself. It took a couple of years, but I'm getting there. And he's always been here waiting.

As I sit here thinking about the past 5 years, I understand that no matter what happens, (and how crazy I can be) BD is always on my side. What else can I ask for? Knowing how hard he works for his girls and how much he loves us and how strong he is to fight for me when I don't think I can fight for myself, Jeez! I am the luckiest woman out there. And those eyes. Stops my heart.

These past five years have added a few pounds and a few more headaches and a whole lot more anxiety than I ever thought possible. But I can deal with anything with BD by my side. (And I think he secretly likes my 'mommy belly' better now than when it was flat and smooth.) I love my husband with all my heart and I know he loves me right back. He puts up with a lot of my shit and insecurities and he still has the capability of stopping me in my tracks with a look, a sarcastic comment or a funny anecdote that totally cracks me up. He is funny and handsome and so caring, and he even lets me hold the remote control and sits with me while I watch my crazy reality shows. If only I could get him to pick up his socks from under the coffee table.

Happy Anniversary BD. I love you forever. But I know you already know that.