Once again, I am marvelling at the sight of my daughter growing up a little more every second of the day.
Yesterday, I was watching her interact (and play so nicely) with her two older cousins, A & G. Her oldest cousin, A is 11 and Fa adores her. She follows her around like a puppy and A is amazing with Fa. She really handles her well. A takes care of Fa and looks out for her, its nice to see; and I don't have to worry when A is around.
Fa thought she was 11 yesterday. She ran around with the big girls and played with them in the yard. It was like she matured into this 'Big Lady' right in front of my eyes. The morph from a 2 and a half year old into an 11 year old was quite unexpected. I have never seen her act like that. When we are home or even when we are on a 'playdate', Fa is still my little baby. But yesterday, as she was turning right in to a butterfly before my very eyes...she was a 'Big Lady'. I will never seem to get over her changing out of that tiny little caterpillar stage.
Part of me wants to keep her in that cocoon for as long as I can, but the other 85% of me wants her to grow, mature and be independent. It kills me. But I know that is what must be done. I am feeling very sentimental this week about my little girl. For some reason, I don't want to see her grow anymore. My heart hurts when I think that this little baby is growing into a real little girl. When she was born, it felt like the colic and crying would never end. I prayed that she'd grow out of that pesky, needy, infant stage... tut suite! Now that I am there, watching her toddle on the precipice of baby and big girl, I am sad. I want it to stop. Here is where I am yelling; "Stop the ride, I wanna get off!"
I didn't think I'd ever make it through the infant stage. I thought I'd jump off the Brooklyn Bridge with the terrible tantrums...Now, after all of that, I wanna go back. I want my baby girl back in my arms...Drinking from a bottle and rolling over for the first time. I am not ready yet (once again) for the next stage of development. She may be raring to go, but I'm scared. I want my baby back. But I do love my Big Lady with every thing that I am...
3 comments:
awwww that is so sweet. I often catch myself encouraging and exploring with Becca, helping her develop independence, then stop and want her to be my baby forever!
I feel the sam way. My son Miles is only 7mos and he's cutting not 1 but 2 bottom teeth, crawling and catching a ball. He dosen't want to be held all the time, he wants to explore! Where did all the time go?
I so feel this post.
I just want to tie a brick around hailey's neck and give her coffee and cigarettes to stunt her growth.
But I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
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