With or Without Me

My Beautiful Flower,

You had such a ball at school today, I am so proud of you. It was your first time in a new school (Mommy & Me) and you enjoyed it thoroughly. You walked right into the new classroom even though I wasn’t ready to go in yet. I was unpacking our things in the hallway and you went right to the teacher and said “Hi!”. You moseyed on into the room and surveyed your new surroundings. I walked in to find you already comfortable at the water table. (Sorry about that, I didn’t bring a change of clothes!) You spent most of your time there but you were just as happy when other kids came to play with you. This is something new with you. You like other kids now. You still have a hard time taking things from others and giving things to others, but you do not shy away like you used to.

You were brave and tall and you played right along side the other kids the entire day. It is such a pleasure for me to watch you interact with others. I know how difficult it was for you at first. Last year, you would not have been so brave and so independent. You would have clung to my leg and even cried to go home. Not today beauty. You enjoyed your time in school.

You painted at the easel with red and yellow paint and you were so proud at your new discovery...Orange. 

The teacher eyed your painting and you puffed up with pride from her compliments. I am sure you felt great about her noticing your beautiful art work, I saw it in the sparkle in your eyes.

You also painted with "dots" and you loved it. You adore the different colored bottles of paint and you even love lining the bottles up in a row. The play-doh wasn’t a gigantic hit with you today, maybe because it was home-made and you’re used to the commercial brand. But you held out until snack. I’m sorry you didn’t like the snack selection today. I never knew you hated pretzels that much. Oh well, maybe Monday they’ll have something you like.

I’m sorry we couldn’t go straight into the basement-play area when you wanted to. I know it’s hard to wait for something you really, really want. But once again, you held out like the patient girl you are until the story was read and the songs were sung. I know singing and dancing in public is not your greatest joy, but you liked watching the other crazy kids jumping around like different animals. I thought you liked hopping like a frog. You do it in your room every night! We’ve gone through every animal movement in your bedroom, you just hate doing it in a crowd. What’s with you and crowds anyway? What am I asking you that for? I’m the same exact way. You hate them, so do I. Too much for the senses, I get it.

The basement was the highlight of your day. That sparkle came back to your eyes when we got there! You were so excited; you didn’t know where to go first. You drove the cars and filled their bellies up with gas and made sure they were happy. You played with ‘Thomas the Train’ and the race cars and even the sand table. I love that you tried to ride the gigantic tricycles but you were too small to reach the pedals. Maybe by May you’ll reach them. If not, there’s always next year.

You taught me something again today beauty. I am always amazed at how you can continue to teach me when I am supposed to be teaching you. You taught me that you know I am always there for you. Even when I am out of sight, you know I have your back. You taught me that you are brave enough to explore a new surrounding with or without me near. I watched you play so independently and have great fun in your new school, and I also watched you keeping an eye out for me even when I wasn’t so close. I saw that you can do it alone and that you are capable of so many things! I also see that you are glad when you see me near you and you are happy when I wave to show you I’m there. I see how fiercely independent you are becoming and I don’t ever want to take that away from you. However my love, it is a bittersweet notion to see that you will be okay with or without me.

That being said, I will always be here for you, I am happy you know that. I will help you whenever you need it. I will happily watch you grow more independent and I will take pride in the fact that you are so strong. I may not always be with you when you have to make decisions but I sure hope that I will be leading your heart to take the smart direction. Mommy will always be in your heart. After all, you are Mommy’s heart forever.

Out of all the little girls in the world, I got the very best one!

I love you forever,

Mamma