Fat Lip

Fa got a fat lip today. Poor baby. I have always loved her top lip. It reminds me of a giraffe's top lip. Her daddy has the same lip. I love that lip!
Well, today it's fat. She fell off of 'Duck Mountain'. She was climbing up onto her pile of ducks and fell forward onto the lip. Ouch. Well, of course I took pictures of it. C'mon. I had to. It's huge! So, to celebrate we took a picture together too. I figured I should make it a little fun since I was following her around like the damn paparazzi in our livingroom. She was just about to give me the finger and punch my camera out of my hand when I decided to make it fun for her.

I did feel bad. How do you get over the fact that your child will get hurt whether you are around or not? How do you get rid of the guilt? The 'what if's', the feeling that you can't protect her every second of the waking day? It kills me. I try so hard to be there for her to protect her and despite all my efforts, she gets hurt anyway. I take it to the extreme too...I tell her she's gonna get hurt even before she does it. I sound like an old lady. "Fa, be careful, you're gonna fall off there!", "Fa, what're ya doing? You're gonna get hurt!" Damn, how annoying! But I know what's dangerous, I know what she's gonna fall off of, especially if she's not paying attention. But I can't always be there. How do I teach her to care for herself as much as I care for her?

I know this is one of many fat lips, cuts, scrapes and bruises but those are easy to fix. Put some antibacterial spray and a smooch and she's on her way. What about the real hurt? The mean friends, the heartbreak, the loss of a loved one? I don't know if I'll be able to handle that. I can't stand to see her in pain or get hurt in any way. I am not ready for the real thing. This is a very frightening concept for me to grasp. I can deal with it when it's me. I've been there, friggin' done that. How do I shield her from it? Should I? Or is it just something that everyone must experience? Well, I have news for you, I don't like that! That's not fair! This was just a 'fat lip'! What about when she gets a 'fat heart'?

How can I keep her the little, innocent girl that hugs me on a whim and truly believes that the moon rises and sets with me? The other day she said to me; "Mommy, how 'bout you put me on the couch and I'll give you a big hug!" C'mon, how lucky am I?

I tell her every night before she goes to bed: "With all the little girls in the world; how did I get the very best one?" One day she'll be able to understand that question and maybe even answer me. Until then, I'll kiss her boo boos and hug her right back each and every time she demands it.