A little bit about us...

Hi. I'm The Laundress, at least that's what I call myself. Trust me; I have no clue what I'm doing here either. I had a beautiful daughter two and a half years ago...aka Farfallina. It's been a long, hard 2 years, mixed in with self-doubt, denial, post partum depression, grief, anxiety...the list goes on. Yeah, I was pretty f'd up when Fa was first born. But I think I'm starting to get the hang of this thing called "mommyhood". Don't get me wrong, I'm still flying by the seat of my capris on a daily basis, I just thought that gracing myself with a nice place to vent might make it easier on those really self-loathing days...Can you say "positive affirmations"...?

It’s a nice place though. I'm not much for sharing my deepest darkest secrets with even my husband, but my therapist told me that if I write my feelings down, it may help to work through them...So here goes. On my new laptop, I just decided to get typing! Now I'm sure you're wondering; "Why subject us to your mind-scramblings?" Well. I gotta put it somewhere. And everyone else is doing it.

Every mom site I visit has wonderful women sharing their innermost thoughts with the entire world about their lives, loves, children, trials and tribulations...I was intrigued. I wanted a blog to call my own. So I started one. Thinking, I'm sure as you did when you first started (if you have a blog), who’s gonna see it anyway? There are thousands of blogs out there, if you found mine. WOW. I have so many thoughts running through my head and not enough time in the day. I still don’t know how I’m gonna find time to write them all down. But, it’s a fun challenge and I think I’m up to it at this point in my life.

Fa…well, this is mostly about her. Her and her pink burpie and her stinky feet. I hope she’s not embarrassed by this one day when she’s older. She is the air that I breathe and the reason I wake up in the morning (anyone who knows me knows how much I hate mornings). I am staying home with her now. I tried going back to work 8 months after she was born but that damn PPD just wasn’t helping…It was a debacle.

My husband and I decided that we’ll make it through on one salary and she would be taken care of by moi. YAY! Joy of joys….(insert screetching halt sounds here). What a responsibility! What was I thinking? Can I do this? Who’s to say, I’m the right person for this job? I’m gonna ruin her. She deserves better than me…Where’s that burpie? Did I eat today? Did she eat today? Ok, sorry. I’m back now. I love being home with her! I know this was the right choice for me. I need to work through some issues about myself but I think we are great together and make a hell of a good mother daughter team! And damn, do I love the smell of her feet! I could sit there for hours sniffing them if she only let me. YUM.