e-mail From Gerber

I am shit out of luck from Gerber...This is the e-mail I received today.

Laundress,

Thank you for your e-mail and telephone call.

We have checked with our warehouse but there were no pink gingham diaper style burp cloths left in stock. We are sorry to disappoint you.

We are taking this opportunity to send you some coupons which we hope you will find useful and will help offset your disappointment.

Best wishes from your friends @ gerber.com.
________________________________________
Good thing for K and her Southern Belle Sista.

By the way...there were no coupons attached to the e-mail. Boo, Hiss...

Burpgate

Well, I won the burp bid! Yay, me. I can't say I'm excited. I was so stressed over it, I feel like it is almost a let down now. All that trouble and what?

I had to overpay way more than my orignial bid because of the 'wonder-brain' who out-bid me the other day. I swore I was winning those suckers...on principle. I still think they may not be the right ones. Now, I'll just wait and see.

I spoke to a kind lady at Gerber.com today and she is going to research the discontinued items for me and get back to me as soon as possible. I begged and pleaded with her. She felt terrible for me and SF.

I am waiting for the other kind woman that I found over at that 'bidding-arena' to let me know when her cloths are ready. I ordered 4 from her...they aren't the right ones either.

All I can say is if Gerber doesn't get back to me with what I need so desperately to hear. I am screwed. Fa is screwed. She will ultimately learn that you can't always get what you want...or what you need for that matter.

More updates to come.

****It just keeps getting better...
My bestest buddy K has located two (2) yes, t.w.o original 'Gerber Baby Pink Gingham burpies' all the way from Alabama. Thank goodness for her crazy family down south. They happened to have them...whoo hoo and yee haw. Thank y'all so very much. They are in the mail coming to my house as I type.

I also have 4 pink gingham burp cloths made from a sweetie on e-bay and I'm still waiting for the other burps I bid on yesterday!!!

All's settling in nicely here at Burp Central...for the time being.

Where's all the burp cloths?~Part Deux

Thank you all so much for your concern and care regarding my daughter's lovey. I wanna hug you all and have you over for chocolate chip cookies.

I am waiting to win this precious bid. I found out that the person bidding against me is someone I kinda know. That's what I get for putting feelers out to people 'I think' I know. I'll leave it at that. You can make up your own stories in your head about how I feel about that. Your ideas aren't half as great as the real way that I feel. I haven't acknowledged it yet, for fear that this person might be slightly mental? It's just a very weird scene. I am totally weirded out here. I'll just say, what mother out there that's a quarter normal would try to take away another child's comfort? Knowing full well how important it is...

I also came in contact with another woman who actually makes them. (I won't even say where I found her for fear that I might be sabotaged again.) She has four pink gingham burps that I told her I want...desperately. I am waiting for her reply. Then, in desperation and on the verge of shaking, I e-mailed Gerber and asked them if there was any way they could supply me with the actual frickin' burp cloth that is from their company. I am waiting for their reply too.

So, that is where I am at this moment in time. I appreciate all of your support. Thank you for showing me that I am not a freak and thank you for helping me see that this is an important object in my daughter's life that as her mother, I should fight for. I will get her these burps, if it is that last thing I ever do. Moms all over the world understand me.

Except maybe for one.

Where's all the burp cloths?

I am in deep shit.

Fa has this burp cloth that she can NOT live breathe without. She sleeps with it, eats with it, takes it every-fuckin'-where. She adores this thing. We used to have two of them. Then my bestest buddie K gave me her daughter's final (and not needed) pink gingham burp cloth as a backup. We had three. I was confident and secure. Then, I lost one a few months back in the mall. But I was all, "Ah, what's the big deal? That was the spare anyway! We have two more!"

Now, I can't seem to find the farkin' second pink gingham backup burp. I am in deep shit.

Don't get me wrong. I do try to offer up others as substitution. We have at least 30 different colored burp cloths. Purple, Green gingham, flowered burps, teddy covered burp cloths, plain white-with-spit-up-stained burp cloths, "Super Pink Burp cloths"...But I only have ONE, single, solitary pink burp cloth. The Queen of all the burps. "Pink Lady", the love of her life. The one and only.

It is filthy.

We take it everywhere, she sleeps with it. It has been dragged on the floor of home depot while we look for doors and doorbells to ring. It has been lost in Whole Foods where we had to backtrack down the aisles to find her. It/she has been stepped on, peed on, fed and wrapped around our heads. It is a mess. Fa won't let me wash it/her.

So, last night was the final straw that broke the burp cloths back. I stole it. I washed it. I dried it. Fa was not privy to my deceit. She looked all over the house for it though. We played "hide and seek" with it and pretended not to know where it/she was. We kept looking for it. All the while, I kept checking the load of laundry to see if it was ready yet. I sped up the spin cycle in the wash to quicken up the process and shorten her anxiety. I dried it with lightening quick speed and let it cool off for a millisecond before handing it back to her. She is smart, she knows the feel of 'just-dried burp cloth' and she doesn't like it. As she was watching Oswald on the couch, her before bed ritual, I handed it to her with a smile. She was none the wiser. I won that battle, but I surely didn't win the war.

What about next time?

Needless to say, I have a bid on "that wonderful online superstore" for the only pink gingham burps I can find in creation. Apparently, they are not being made anymore. I can't find them anywhere. I better win this bid. If anyone out there overbids me for these burps, I'll hunt you down, and chew your head off and piss down your neck. That, my friend is a warning.

I am desperate. I am in deep shit. I'll do anything for a pinkie. Hell, almost anything.

**Updated**
Some motherfucker just outbid me by 50 fucking cents. I'm going to find this prick sucking bitch and slap her with a burp cloth.
**Updated again**
Hmmm....very interesting coincidence.
**Updated and Overrated**
I am currently the highest bidder on the burpies. Seems to be a 'very familiar' name bidding against me in "Burpgate". I investigated and it seems with "friends like these, who needs enemies?'...stay tuned.

Chocolate, you cruel confection.

I hate you. I love you. I wish I could bathe in you daily. Go away. You are making me crazy. How do I enjoy you in small doses without slopping on 5 extra pounds? You are cruel, do you know that?

Now get out of here and don't come back. Wait, just one more bite.

No! Leave. Leave now. I hate you. Why do you do this to me? What have I ever done to deserve this treatment from you? All I want is some love and attention. And a little sliver of your tasty morsel now and again. Why do you tease me so and make me devour you uncontrollably, in chunks!

Just a taste and then be off...I can't bear to watch you walk out that door.

Goodbye my love. See you next year.