Maybe I'm just a really extra sensitive person. I never thought I was. But I guess I am.
Everything makes me cry.
Is it getting older? Does that make you more sensitive?
Does PMS get worse as the years go by?
It can't always be THE HAT TRICK can it? I hafta get used to this sooner or later right?
Dunno?!
I am extra possessive and protective over my men. Don't mess with me there...
And I am like a raging lunatic to protect my kid.
Nothing has happened. I'm just waiting with my back up. For something, anything to send me reeling into a tizzy...I'm ready to rip someones head off if they look at me the wrong way.
And I'm tense. Extra tense. I've been going back to the chiropractor (God love him) and he's been trying (in vain) to loosen up the gargantuan knot in my spine.
Blogging truly is my therapy and I haven't even been posting regularly. I've been reading a lot of my blogroll and trying to comment but that isn't helping either...Hmmm...Now I know somethings up.
You know, everyone always thinks of J as this easy-going and calm...roll off your back like water off a duck's ass type-o chick...But it's the people who know me (the 3 or 4 of you) that know I keep it all inside. I tense up more and more the more shit I hold inside and I literally explode in one way or another.
Crying, yelling, throwing the remote...But I always do it when I'm alone.
I think I need to explode.
But herein lies the problemo.
I'm never alone.
And I will NOT explode in front of the Girl. Even though I have been extra edgy with her too these days. She is starting to think I may be Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde...
Then I look at the calendar and I realize the calendar reads June 28th...Two more days till July and my three months of mourning is over...for now. I did nothing to remember Mom on the 25th like I thought I wanted to...But I guess I did what my subconscious wanted me to. I did go back to the chiropractor for the first time that day....Was she pushing me to?
Or do I need some serious meds/detox/work out to chill me out again?
Probably.
Thanks for listening.
19 comments:
Anytime, every day. xo.
Hang in there. It will get better!!!
I don't have any advice because I can't lie and say I know what you are going through. I don't. I only imagine how difficult it is. Please know I'm here for you. -hugs-
Hugs to you, my friend. I understand your pain first-hand - and please know that it's okay. It's normal. It's mourning.
Sending happy, happy thoughts your way.
I'm the same way, in that I do my crying and freaking out when I'm alone.
We're here, whether you're ranting or being silly, whether you need a giggle or a shoulder. Good luck getting through whatever this is, and know that your diehard fan club is with you all the way.
That's what we're here for.
You can scream and yell here all you want.
Hopefully just writing about your feelings helped let them out a bit...There's no magic cure for missing someone (no matter how long it's been). I hope all gets better for you soon.
Happy to listen, anytime!
I recommend...
1. A babysitter (or a Saturday where mister stays at home and you don't!)
2. A massage/manicure/pedicure
3. Lunch with a good friend OR a walk in a park by yourself.
You need time for you!
HUGS!
Wow!!! Let's have a margarita!
Honey, hang in there. {{hugs}} I can totally relate. I've been feeling a bit off lately and Father's Day was a little rough for me b/c it was 2 months my grandma had been gone. I know the pain you're going through. {hugs}
Hugs to you Janet. No assvice, just thinking about you.
(hugs)
I do understand.
Please find me if you need a hug or a laugh. xoxo
Feel better soon - I'm thinking of you!
it was the butterflies!!
Sounds alot like life to me. and it sounds like you are being real.
Nothing at all wrong with tears, emotions, and feeling things. Just part of who we are.
Be blessed, and hang in there...
J.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are missing your mom. Let yourself mourn her to the fullest extent. Take a bath and cry your eyes out. That really helps me. Or do something else that helps you release the tension from your body. Seeing a chiropractor has really helped me also.
Hang in there. Grief does have a way of messing with your mind AND your body. Time will lessen your grief...but you have to let yourself grieve at your own pace..I have read many comments on your post, you are obviously loved deeply by many. Hope that helps a bit.
hi. I'm not entirely sure what you're mourning, but I'm sorry to hear that you are mourning.
what I'm finding remarkable is how you've written exactly what I'm feeling. exactly
fake bake = feel better?
you're new reader breeder,
m
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