So even though I've been getting some color in the front yard, I thought I'd even it out and get just a little darker for the summer's biggest extravaganza!
Sooo, I went for a spray-on tan.
Here are some things to remember if you do get this done...
Do:
- Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate
- Expect to feel sticky after the application and expect to stay that way until you shower
- Expect to get it on your clothing (and your kid if you're not careful)
- Wear dark, loose fitting clothes for after the application (think mu mu)
- Expect to feel like a fat tub-o-lard standing there nekkid with just your paper panties on
- Expect to question every decision you have ever made that led you to this procedure
- Especially when your boobahs are white as ghosts and sorta saggin' (at least in your eyes)
- Be careful that stuff gets everywhere
- Exfoliate
- Understand that you will look like an orange until you shower
- Expect to get what you pay for...you will be $60.00 lighter in the wallet, but you won't get melanoma (a small price for health I say)
- Plan the application at least two days before an event
- Plan on blowing away the little black dress you plan to wear
- Do it for any event but make sure you exfoliate
Don't:
- Go in a driving thunderstorm (think Jackson Pollack)
- Wear flip flops in said rainstorm or step in gigantic puddles
- Expect brain surgeons to be working at the salon
- Go in a hawty-tawty neighborhood, they sneer
- Expect the salon workers to giggle at you (at least not to your face)
- Shower for eight hours after the application
- Let one ounce of water touch your skin for eight hours after the application
- Sweat...ever
- Forget to exfoliate
- Wear a mu mu in a driving rainstorm with your flip flops although on a sunny day it would be perfecto
- Pay more than $60.00 for the treatment...it may not be worth it
- Go the night before a big event
- Be surprised by the compliments you will receive for looking like you just got back from St. Tropez
- Expect your husband to keep his hands to himself...(rowr)
- PANIC...it's not THAT bad
- Be surprised if you don't exfoliate
24 comments:
You crack me up! I've always wondered about those professional spray tans. You didn't mention streaking. And I don't mean running through your yard in your paper panties. Did the sprat streak? I use self tanner at home. I try every one that comes on the market hoping for a natural tan. Last weekend I used one that has a bronzer in it before going to a carnival with the kids. We got rained on and the bronzer ran down my legs and arms. I looked like a freak.
Thanks for the tips. I'm off to exfoliate.
I thought about doing this but was too scared of tanner after I turned the soles of my feet orange with self tanner once. OH, and I forgot to put it on the back of my neck but didn't realize it until someone commented. Sweet.
Glad it worked out for you!
I can always count on you for such informative public service announcements! Thanks for the tips.
that sounds like WAY too much work! I don't know how to not sweat!
i still think about that episode of friends where ross had problems in the spray on tanning booth. hee hee
in high school i used the really cheap tan-on cream and turned bright orange so i'm very afraid..when you get a minute read my recent post there's something for you!
Spray tan, eh? I'd be too afraid to be that naked in front of the person applying it.
I am sure you look fantastic...I don't do tan well. Mine are a very pasty people, you see.
Bet you look awesome tan. Knock 'em dead! ;p
I need a spray tan. I'm as white as a cotton ball!
And whatever you do, don't exfoliate yer boobahs!
Hope you had fun at the wedding. I have always just figured it is my lot in life to be white and pale looking...considering we see 10 min of sun all year long up here in Canada...hee hee hee.
I am going to try this next week. I am going to the beach...and you know what they say.." A baked turkey looks better than a raw one!"
Any suggestions on the best exfoliator?
Good thing I ain't gonna worry with all that. Sounds like too much work.
All that showering and exfoliating. I don't even know what exfoliating means but it just sounds like work.
Count me out.
You probably look terrific. Can't wait to see you.
I'm still using the tan on the can. My knees are three shades darker than the rest of my legs.
I've never done it...but now I just might.
Pictures?
Oh my. It sounds like you had quite the experience with the "spray-on" tan.
ALthough, all you wear are some paper panties? Maybe I need to go into the spray tanning business.
LOL!
I think you're ready for Baywatch.
GOOD LIST!!! I wasn't a fan of the spray on tan.
I wish I read this before the first time I went! Once thing that drives me nuts is the smell, yuck!
I've never had a spray on tan - but if I ever start feeling like I need one, I'll re-read this post before I make the mistake!!
Oh lawdy, I think I'll take my chances with mother nature.
I'd consider myself a professional at home spray tanner, it's only taken me three years to get good at it.
Thanks for the 411--my tanning package(yeah, I opt for the "fake bake" to get my glow on until pool season)includes one spray tan session, but I've never done it. I bet you did look totally hawt!
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