What? Who me? Nah! Not me. Fafa.
Literally.
She's constipated. (I apologize now Fa for when you are reading this at 16)!
I broke down and took her to her pediatrician yesterday. She has pooped 2 times in over a week. No joke. That's some serious blockage...even for her. When her 'flora' is under control, she goes every day, like clockwork. But, she has had IBS since birth and these issues are not new to her and her tiny hiney.
However, her pediatrician seems to have a major hard on for the fact the my kid is STILL in a Pamper at 3 years 2 months old. He can't get passed that small fact.
He seems to think it's a power struggle between us. She holds it in to get me "twisted" and likes the reaction. I fail to see the logic in that. She's not a manipulative kid. At least I don't think so. I think I do know her better than any human being in existence. And I have NEVER felt manipulated by her. Well, not counting her attitude this week!
But I don't blame her now. I'd be pissy pants and emotional too if my bowels were blocked up like a stopped sink pipe. Crap. Pardon the pun.
So, get this. She's on MiraLax for the constipation for two weeks AND...big A.N.D...Glycerin suppositories for three days. Poor little buttcrack.
The topper...Oh the topper on this bad boy.
If after two weeks, and I quote "I am a complete failure" unquote (at potty training) I have to call a Dr. Soandso...a Gastroenterologist slash POTTY.TRAINING.EXPERT!!!
Wait, I don't think you read that slow enough. I, MOM, master of my domain and my child's being, controller of all that is holy in our abode and commode...need a potty training expert.
I believe it.
I totally believe it.
After two weeks, Dr. Pediatrician Sir, thinks she should be regulated enough to get motivated to go on the pot. He thinks that it may also HURT her to go and that can be another reason why she won't train...(He glossed over that dot point quickly though)
He thinks if she can't hold it in, she has nowhere else to go but the pot. He doesn't know her very well, do he? She's frickin' petrified of the thing. She's afraid she's gonna get sucked up into it...like the tub and sink drain (which we finally have under control thankyouverymuch), like the ever lovin' vacuum cleaner that I can only turn on if I have someone else in the house to distract her...She's not manipulating me. She's afraid. She's very afraid.
She has these anxieties that I do not know how to deal with and Dr. Ped. Sir thinks she's pulling a power play here...I disagree.
Big But. (Ha! Pardon the pun again)
I can not get my kid to go on the pot. If you know anything about me. You know that potty training is the fucking bane of my existence. I have post after post about my trials and tribulations on the subject. (Check my label "Potty" and see) And I am a failure. I admit it. I need help. I can not do this one alone.
So, in two weeks. I will call this specialist. Because I can admit when I need help. (Most of the time) And my love and concern for my child is way deeper than my pride. I will call him and I will sit through any seminar he holds and I will hand my potty over to him graciously and see what he can do.
How much ya wanna bet he can't make her do it either?
18 comments:
Yeah... I'm not takin' that bet -- It's a sucker's bet! She'll go when she's damn good and ready and not a minute before!
BTW, my daughter was irritable, outspoken, withdrawn, and had poor potty training experiences her entire childhood... until the wise doctors finally diagnosed with Crone's Disease... at 10 years old -- seems she's had the condition since BIRTH -- Ah, the wise doctors... don't get me started!
Constipation is THE WORST obstacle when trying to potty train. My friend is going through the same thing and I don't blame her daughter one bit! Both my kids have had bouts with it and inserting those suppositories ain't fun!!
HUGS!
I would not venture to say that SF is manipulation you ... but I do think that it has become a power thing. Not because she wants to defy YOU, but she is exerting control in area that she can, really how much control of the world does a three year old have?!?!
No expert is going to make her go, however they may have recommendations for you to help her realize the joys of potty over diapers.
We have a very simple potty for Becca. http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bjorn-050015US-BABYBJ%C3%96RN-Little/dp/B000056J79/sr=1-14/qid=1172069555/ref=sr_1_14/002-9695380-3028024?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products
She freaks out a little on the ones that sing and make all sorts of noises. I made sure (and still try to) have no reaction whatsoever if she had an accident. I did however have her help me clean it up and we talked about where to go next time.
HUGS!
Potty training is a tough gig no matter how it goes, now having another person criticize and have an opinion yet no concrete solutions has to further the frustrations.
Two of my kids have been on Miralax since they were eating solids. It's just a chronic thing with them. A teaspoon every day. EVERY DAY. Now their ped wants to be see an expert on the whole thing but I'm a little worried there won't be anything they can do, that it'll be like this forever.
Poor kid. ONe of mine was like that the first year she was born. It was horrible. We finally put her on a daily med to regulate her. Mine is 3 years old, and about a month. She'll poop on the potty, but she still wears a pull-up most of the time, and pees in it still about 60%.
Believe me, I am the MASTER of hard to potty train kids. They will do it when they are ready to do it. You can't force it. I would tell your doc to chill. ;)
It's the very rare kid who graduates from high school still wearing diapers.
I'm sorry. I think your doctor is full of sh*t (pun intended).
Kids are ready at different times. I gave up trying with Mr. 4 (when he was 3) and one day at three years and eight months he woke and announced that he would no longer be wearing diapers and from that day forth he was completely potty trained (maybe two accidents).
I just don't understand why all of the "experts" feel that all children need to be out of diapers by a certain age. They'll do it when they're ready...and most of them will be ready before kindergarten (barring developmental challenges of course).
Hang in there. I hope you're not questioning yourself.
You know, Love BUg wasn't trained to poop on the potty until she was 4. She would pee, but not poop. I knew eventually she would go.
She would be horridly constipated. She wouldn't go for a week at a time. I think it's because she knew she SHOULDN'T go in her pull-ups, and she would hold it. She was terrified of the potty. We also bought her one of those little inserts to make the opening of the potty fit her bottom so she couldn't fall in. She likes that. One day she went, and that was that. She'll do it when she's ready. Forcing her will only make her not want to do it. It's stressful having all that pressure! Just relax. She' won't be 10 and still in diapers!
Oh my. I can relate. My 5 year old son has poop situations. My 4 year daughter can poop fine on the potty - its the pee that trips her up.
And Long-Island Dad - my sister was diagnosed with Crohn's at 18. What a difficult thing. I surely hope that that isn't what my son has.
We are just starting to explore pottyhood with my 2 year old. And praying for the day that my house no longer smells like caca.
Anyway. Jan, I hope you get some success here!
I only poop twice a week and my doc insists that it's perfectly normal. I think she's nuts!!
Poor baby! This can't be easy on you either. And to hear from your Pediatrician that he's going to send you to a potty training expert? If it were me I might start to think about getting a new doctor for my kid.
I hope the medicine helps - and I doubt the potty training "expert" will succeed in any short amount of time.
She will be just fine. :) Don't doubt yourself - at all.
It's all so frustrating.. I know...
my oldest son had a hard time "pooping" FOR.EV.ER!!! ... he would hold it and hold it until "it" was sooo huge, it was like he gave birth every time he finally pooped. I even took him to the ER one time in the middle of the night b/c he stomach was HUGE!
I hate to say, for us, it lasted for years.....
I just tried not to give him foods that would constipate him...
but it really was a nightmare...
and soo frustrating....I took him to a few docs...
but...
it all worked out in the end...
He's 24 now and doing great!
I'll have to ask him how his "poops" are now!!
My sister is going through the same thing with her son. It's so frustrating. Even though you know she will eventually be fully potty trained, getting through this sucks. I withhold my advice since none of it has worked for my sis.
I have one that is almost fifteen and I can't get her to poop in the toilet. She's about three mentally so I can relate. If I had an answer I'd share it with you. As for constipation, Katie has been constipated since she was five months old and she started on solids, in the hospital once with constipation. It's a pain in the ass for me and for her. My life revolves around her turds!
Oh man. I am with you. Gracie was constipated she was saying, "butt, hurts." She finally let it go in the bathtub, screaming all the while. I went out and bought some of that fiber stuff you can mix into food. I'm going to try and give that to her with applesauce every day and see if that won't help. Maybe it would work for you?
I'm from the school of "she won't be in diapers when she goes to college".
I know changing her is a hassle though...
-Sigh-
No helpful advice from me I'm afraid. Daycare potty trained The Mayor for me.
What the heck? They have experts for that? My twins are 3 tomorrow. They're still in diapers. I'm letting them control it. They run around in pull-ups or nothing all day, and they almost always make it to the potty if they're nakey. They forget if they have on pull-ups sometimes b/c they're so much like diapers. We're not even to the poop thing yet. I think one of them has pooped in the potty. Otherwise they do it in their diaper at night. I don't know how to deal with it. If you find out the magic cure, let me know! Otherwise we're doing just fine taking our own sweet time.
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