Earlier in the month, we got tickets to see The Dirty Sock Funtime Band and Audra Rox I couldn't friggin' wait. You know, it's like seeing Aerosmith, but for kids. The show was in Brooklyn and we got there waaay too early...Good job K!
We waited in the cars for the doors to open. It was freezing. We watch the band draggin' their gear into the venue, we chatted them up. We were the only ones there at that time. The lead singer is just too cute.
Fa is all ready to go. Brilliant, I think. She's excited! She's calm. She's happy. She's gonna do it. This time, after all the misadventures of loud, live shows...she's gonna actually do it.
We get lucky enough to get in to watch a little bit of the sound check because we were there so early and it was so, so cold and they felt bad for us. I'm thrilled. I'm singin', I'm dancin', I'm all excited...you know...former groupie feelin' like old times...You know how it is for me.
Audra is adorable and oh! so friendly. She was dancing with the kids on the dance floor. The members of the DSFTB were all out and about greeting the kiddies and chatting up the parents. All the kids are dancing and having a grand old time. But Fa. That's another story.
She looses it.
Absolutely looses it.
Screaming. Crying. It's too loud. I wanna go home. All that jazz.
I am furious.
I got to talk to the lead singer some more. Did you know he brushes his teeth before every show? I know. He told me. He even offered me his tooth brush because I had a Bloody Mary and I told him I felt like my breath stunk. (yes, I was drinking at a kids engagement) He was so sweet. Gah! My new crush.
We leave. Even before the band comes on.
Talk about pissed. Disappointed. Unsure. Nervous. I was all of those things. I just can't comprehend that out of all the kids in that place, mine was the only one shitting her pants. Totally lost it. Friggin' basket case.
I just don't get it.
What the hell am I doing wrong?
How do I get her to just loosen up and just enjoy the moment?
I am at a loss and I just don't know what to do to help her.
Where am I going wrong?
19 comments:
I really wish I had some magic answer for you.
Is it the noise? Is it the crave of attention - she certainly got the attention, albeit by having a fit.
I wish fits weren't loud and embarrassing, because it would nice for the little one having the fit to have to stay there and live thru it. So she doesn't "win."
Sigh. I hope this stage passes soon. I don't think it's you.
Don't sweat it! You're doing a great job. They change so much. She'll outgrow it. It's just all the stuff they have to go through to become who they are supposed to become.
You're not going wrong... every kid is different! Some things freak one out more than others... when my daughter was young she would never go into the mall - the high ceilings absolutely freaked her out! Really! Now she's 12, can't keep her out of there! This too shall pass!
"Where am I going wrong?"
Do you want it alphabetically or by priority? j/k
Different things set off different kids. My daughter doesn't like large groups.
If concerts and live shows and the like are important to you, and/or you feel like they are important for her, then you need to (for lack of a better word) condition her not to fear them.
I would start with some videos of concerts... groups like the Wiggles have some... and let her watch them. Point out the crowds, the dancing, et cetera, and let her see it's part of life.
Also try some open air shows this spring/summer, where you can set your proximity to control the overall volume. Another idea is to look for performances at a local mall.
Eventually she'll learn to appreciate damaging her hearing for artistic enjoyment, just like the rest of us.
Could it be that the loud noise bothers her ears? I know my nephew has a problem with really loud noises.
You lost me with the fact that you were doing something besides watching the game or preparing to watch the game on Super Bowl Sunday. Normally my daughter is not too bad unless she is really tired or hungry. Only sometimes there are no warning signs and a meltdown just happens.
awww you are such a groupie!! hehe! I cannot believe he offered you HIS toothbrush ... ew! LOL Yet oddly thrilling!
Poor SF ... I am not sure what to say to help, Becca used to stay by my side every play date and not play ... the more we went to the more she got used to it ... Maybe it the kid's concert circuit?!?!
Oh boy...
I dunno.... but I know it's not you... sounds like some kind of phobia..??
Poor thing.
No answers here - children can be unpredictable. WonderBaby, inexplicably, decides that she hates snow one out of every two times that we take her out in it. Cries, won't allow her feet to touch the ground. Then the next time - joy. Strange, and frustrating.
It's not you; it's her. And it's normal.
The only kids are is UNPREDICABLE. You could've gone to the same concert under the same circumstances the next day and she'd be perfectly fine. I'm soooo sorry you missed seeing it.
janet it could be the unknown or it really could be the noise...
How about really good ear plugs???
It could help...
And I could not help but smile at what a groupie you sounded like... You really should get into PR...
I had not heard of this band... But by the end od your piece I really wanted to know them...
So sorry you missed the concert...
My twins are the SAME way! They freaked out when we went to my parents church b/c a band plays and it's really loud. We can't even go to the drive-thru cleaners without them covering their faces when the little old lady tries to speak to them. And no matter how many times my brother-in-law comes around, they scream and run. What the heck!? If you figure out an answer, let me know!
BTW, your blog is so pretty!
His toothbrush? Gross!
Thanks for linking to The Opinionated Parent in your sidebar! You're entered in the draw that all the cool people will be entered in.
Have you ever tried a good hard spanking?
I agree- try not to sweat it. I think you need to delete that comment above mine- that is pretty sick and uncalled for. way to go annonymous- you are so brave making a disgusting comment and not having the guts to admit who you are!
Anyway, some kids like music, some don't, some kids like loud noises, some don't. She'll warm up to it in time, I'm sure.
Don't worry, dahling. It shall pass. Patience is key.
You're Wonder Mom and don't you forget it! ;p
Good job anonymous douchebag. Way to come out and tell us how you really feel...anonymously. You are the biggest dickhead I have ever met...
Wait are you my Brother?
You aren't doing anything wrong. Your supporting her and not forcing her to do something she's uncomfortable with.
Hailey hates loud music too. I think she gets overstimulated maybe or perhaps it's just regression from those protective caveman days. It's too loud for them to hear dinosaurs sneaking up on them.
Have you tried earplugs?
Way to go Janet, I would've just deleted the comment -- you take'em head on! Ah, my fellow NYer!
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