Lickers

Fa and I have a thing. We like to lick each other. It's a new game we play that might gross other people out but it's a barrel of laughs for us.

She giggles and squeals with delight when I take her down to lick her face. But she starts it. She licks me first and then runs away. So I hafta take control of the situaltion and get her back. It's only fair.

BD thinks it's a terrible game. Especially when I get mad at him when he chases her around the house saying he's gonna saute her and eat her with wine and salad. That's gross.

I'm allowed to lick her. I carried her in my soul for 39 weeks. She is my heart running around outside my body. What's wrong with a little saliva being passed if we are both of each other's flesh? Mamma kitties do it to their litter all the time!

Twisted? Sick? You bet!

I love it. I love her. She's my air.

I probably should be happy about it...

...RT is eating his poop so much that I hardly have anything to clean anymore! It's wonderful. But oh, so gross. I can't stand the thought of him licking us. He eats his poop then he licks my daughter's hand. UGH!

This can't be normal. Last night after we fed him, we waited for him to go before we put him in his crate for the night and he never went. Oh, but yes, I say, he did go. He just ate it before we could find it. 'Good boy', I think. Poop dessert. Yum!

Now I:

• Hafta find out what to give him to make him stop eating his poop.
• Start walking him regularly after eating, to avoid the poop feast.
• Start a whole new schedule of puppy training all over again.
• Enroll myself into Creedmore...that's the closest asylum in Long Island, I believe.

He goes for more shots this week. Hopefully, the vet will have some suggestions. If not, Anyone want a Boston Terrier? Cheap.

Baby vs. Puppy

My poor husband wants to have another baby. I, on the other hand, do not. We have been avoiding the topic for a lot of months now. I have been just feeling not so ready here. With my history and newborns, I fail to see the positive aspects of another child...Plus, I'm gettin' up there in ovarian age, it might not be so easy...So we bought a puppy. I know, crazy right? Well, I truly figured it'd be way easier than another kid. I dopily thought: I won't feel so frickin' heartbroken every time he leaves my side, I won't be too attached, I won't feel so responsible for my heart and blood running around outside my body, I won't care if he cries, I'll feed him and walk him and that's that...oh so many reasons why a puppy is easier, and such the smart choice...Well, I was wrong. Dead wrong. Yes, I don't feel so attached to the frickin' thing...it is definitely not of my blood and loins....However, the work involved is waaaaaaaay more difficult...Put it this way, at least a baby shits in diapers...And it's shit that I helped make with mine and my husbands genes...

So I weighed the cons and cons. Here's what I came up with.

Baby: poopie & peepee all over the place
Puppy: poopie & peepee all over the place

Baby: Diaper rash
Puppy: I wish

Baby: midnight feedings
Puppy: eats two-three times a day

Baby: spit up
Puppy: slobber

Baby: gas
Puppy: gas

Baby: potty training sucks
Puppy: potty training sucks

Baby: colick
Puppy: is there a such thing as puppy colick?

Baby: grows up to talk back and think her parents are idiots
Puppy: loyal & faithful

Baby: tantrums
Puppy: happy licking most of the time

Baby: money for clothes, diapers, food
Puppy: money for clothes, wee wee pads, food

Baby: teething
Puppy: shreds wee wee pads to pieces (even with shit on it)

Baby: the pee pee dance comes later and can be somewhat controlled
Puppy: the Shit dance just makes a frickin’ mess all over the house

Baby: PPD
Puppy: you still need meds 'cause he's rippin up the place

Let's see...it's a toss up. Did I make a mistake with the puppy or what?