Cupcake Debacle

I made cupcakes (for the first time ever) for Fa's 'school' birthday party. Well, I attempted cupcakes a few times for Fa's 'school' birthday party. Last week, I tried them but I used a Whole Brand that was totally allergy free and and they came out like cardboard. I fed those to my dad for his birthday.

There are kids with allergies in this class so you have to be really careful with the ingredients. So I asked the other moms (who previously made cupcakes for their kids) what they used and lo and behold, they used a very simple method. So I thought.

Now, children, I am not writing this for prosperity's sake, mind you. (I am highly embarrassed by the whole thing) I am writing this to inform and teach because I wish someone was out there in internet heaven for me yesterday.

Those bright moms (I am being facetious) used Betty Crocker Super Moist cake mix in Golden Vanilla and Duncan Hines Creamy Homestyle Frosting in Classic Vanilla. Instead of a cake tin, they used a cupcake tin. Simple you say. Aha, me too. I even got Spongebob Cupcake wrappers for the boys and Strawberry Shortcake wrappers for the girls. I'm cool like that.

Instead of 3 eggs in the cake batter to bind and fluff the ingredients they used applesauce. Yum! You think. I know.

Well, none of those seemingly nice and helpful 'mother-truckers' told me how much applesauce to use, fuck you very much. I searched the internet and scoured the Betty Crocker website. Nothing. So I winged it. "Uhm, You can't wing it in baking" says BD. But Chef Tell didn't know either, so we both tried to do the math. One other recipe online used a cup of applesauce in place of one egg. So us geniuses decided that we should do the same. The recipe calls for 3 eggs. 3 cups of applesauce, you think?

Yeah right.

I should have known when I poured the entire jar of applesauce into the mixture that something wasn't right! But you see, I'm dense that way. I just kept on keepin on. And I was almost blissful in the process. I was a "real mom" who bakes cupcakes for her daughter instead of going to the store and buying pre-made cookies like I was originally gonna do.

I mixed with my heavy duty Kitchen Aid mixer. Uhm, not mine, BD's. remember, I don't cook. Ever!

And I waited 25 minutes for the cupsplats to harden in the oven. Nada. Needless to say I was pissed. Do ya think I used too much applesauce? No, I didn't get a picture of the cupsplats. I was too mad. By the way, I had just come from the gym that's why I'm not dressed up in my "Betty Crock of shit" apron and dress with white high heels. I am a mess and I don't want to leave the house again.

However, the things I would do for that little girl! So I sped out...again...to the supermarket for more cake mix and applesauce. BD was mad at me for drag racing down the block but it felt so good to put the pedal to the metal and zoooooom!

I bought another package of cake mix and applesauce. I was so mad, but I managed to donate my change to the Salvation Army guy ringin' his bell to the tune of "Here Comes Santa Clause". I dunno, he made me smile through all my anger.

As I'm speeding home, I remember...Fuck! We ran out of Vegetable Oil too. So I go to 7-11 to pick it up. Yeah, not such the great source for all your baking needs. So, I bought Olive Oil instead. Bite me, it was all they had.

At home, we try again. I found out that I should have only used 1/4 cup of applesauce for each egg. Thank you so very much Dummies. Finally, the batter was thick and creamy. And yummy too. All in all, the cupcakes came out great. And yummy too. There were a couple of casualties...if you look close. But hey, toddlers don't care right?

I had a horrible experience with a whole lot of cryin' over my cupcakes. (Sounds like a country song) But it all worked out in the end. Thank you BD for your help and hugs while I stomped around the house like a three year old. I know I misbehaved and I deserve a time out but I just wanted these cupcakes to be perfect for our little lady. And thank you for snapping pictures for my blog when I really didn't want you to. I appreciate your support.

I love you baby girl. I'd do anything for you!

*****Updated!*****

I think they were a hit!