It's all...good

Girl's new rug was installed from Home Depot. A surprisingly smooth transaction. No complaints believe it or not. I am just as shocked as you are, believe me. I'll wait quietly for the rug to start lifting or the padding to curl...it can't possibly be that easy!

Here's some before and afters.

Old "doodie-brown" rug.

New rug.

(Kinda looks the same doesn't it?)
I assure you it's not.
It's a beautiful light beigey-speckeld color.

Old rug.

New rug.
Enjoying the cushy-goodness of the new fibers.
Then, the wrastlin' began...


The Jolly Green Giant
BEFORE Girl broke his nose with her foot...
on the new carpet tonight!

Is it wrong that I was more worried about blood stains on the new rug than my husband's broken schnozz?
__________________________________

Girl got a new bicycle this weekend too...

What a big girl.
And of course it's full of Purpley goodness!!!
She is already a pro with the training wheels...

I never thought she'd get the hang of it so quickly. Now, we have to get on it every day...'Practice makes perfect' she always says...

__________________________________

We have a playdate set up for 'us'. Why am I so nervous to have these new people over my house? I've already canceled twice. We went to their house for a playdate and now I am reciprocating. However, I feel like I'll be judged on my crappy housekeeping abilities and clutter. Why do I feel like my poor domestic abilities will be called out? It's not like I live in a sty. My home is beautiful. And fairly neat and tidy. And still being worked on 11 months after we've moved in.

I just can't find a place for the dust and clutter.

Maybe because I'm so sensitive about it. Maybe because every new home we visit is SPOTLESS with not an ounce of dust. Just toys. I have toys. Big deal. How do they not have dust? They have housekeepers. I do not. THAT is the difference.

Keeping up with the Joneses is on a much smaller scale here in my land of Mommyhood. It's measured in dust, not toys.

__________________________________

I am very overwhelmed this week. It's April. I feel my brain's incessant humming and my heart starting to palpitate more now. It's here and I am working very hard to stay sane. Very hard. I am not successful so far.

It's been very difficult, but I am trying to enjoy these moments. I am still learning to live in the moment and not wish my days away...This post tries vehemently to celebrate that.

I *heart* you if you are still reading this.

Anger Management

Since the crying episode, Fa has been intolerable.

She is temperamental and angry and just impossible to deal with. She doesn't like anything, doesn't want to watch videos, go in the basement to play, roll play-doh, color, go to her Papa's house. Nothing.

It seems that she has been effected by that incident and can't seem to get over it. Or, it could be just a coincidence that that happened and her little mind is processing a bunch of new crap all at the same time and it scares her.

Everything scares her lately. The dark, the new side door we put in, the crazy noises like fire engines (that she used to get a kick out of) and especially the vacuum cleaner. That has always been her antagonist, but lately she cries about it when it's not even out. Yesterday, she was crying in her bed, during nap quiet time that she didn't want me to vacuum her up. I was sitting in the kitchen. The vacuum wasn't even around. But she dropped something down the side of her bed against the wall and she was afraid I'd vacuum it. (If only I vacuumed that often!)

And she's been having scary dreams almost every night. She doesn't wake up completely, but I hear her moaning and making noises in her sleep. It's weird because she doesn't wake up for us, she just moans and cries a little. Then, the next day, not a memory of it. She used to have night terrors often, so maybe this is her 3 year old version of them? I don't know.

She also seems like she's had just about enough of her mother and is gearing more toward her Daddy. (Can you say heartbroken?) She tells me to go away and that she wants Dog to be given away. But then in the next breath, she tells me it makes her sick when I go away. I can't even read her these days. She's one confused little lady.

I feel so badly that I can't find a way to help her. I know she's going through something. I just don't know what it is. I am at a loss. She gets so angry and she can't tell me why or how to express her feelings. She's testing all of her boundaries and finding out what is acceptable behavior and her process of discovery is killing me. I need to find a way to help her manage her feelings...sound familiar...Jesus we are one in the same! Maybe we need a break from each other for a while?

I understand that with all this work going on around our house, it has been difficult. We are on edge with different people traipsing through the house and I am not comfortable. And when Mommy's not happy...ain't no one happy! There's no diversion, we can't escape the mess and she needs to me stimulated and that hasn't been happening lately.

Oh, well...the day has begun. F is singing about her blueberry-filled doodie in her diaper and Mommy-duty calls. I hope we can make it through the day.