Update!

So much to report.

Girl woke up this morning with a dry pull up! For the first time ever...She's been trained during the day for a month now and this very morning was her first dry one ever!!!

Go Girl.

The countdown to school has begun. September 17th is her first day. Alone.

Prepare for the sobby posts.

___________________________________________

I officially have a polyp in my endometrial lining. It was discovered by a pelvic sonogram and confirmed with a sonohysterogram. Damn catheter.

I have to get it removed soon. Fun times people.

___________________________________________

Seems I also need to go for a fourth breast mammo/sonogram for a "finding". They say it's nothing, but I have to go back in six months for an update. My Gyno may want me to see a breast surgeon too...just to be safe...what with my history and all.

I went for my yearly screening which turned diagnostic last month, so from now on, they will be extra cautious. Just the way I like it. No mistakes here, thankyouverymuch.

___________________________________________

I'm healthy, I swear. Just need a little tuning up since I turned 35 and all. I seem to have rolled down the other side of the hill a little faster than I originally expected.

So that's the news that's fit to print.

Nothing else really.

Girl is amazing and doing so well. She's growing and learning and reading and even writing...At 3 and a half. Whatta kid.

Why must everything be so difficult?

I'm all over the place in my head this week. I almost feel manic in one second and depressed in another...I'm feeling underwhelmed then a shot of joy washes over me. I feel like I have energy to move mountains, then all I want to do is sleep. I cry over the silliest things, but giggle over even sillier things. I am guilty for not being the best mom/wife I can be but I still feel like I am honestly doing my best and can't do any better. Then, there's my maturing three year old.

I just want her to stop fighting me. That's all. Stop arguing every statement I make. Stop questioning my thought process. Stop. Just stop.

I am the MOTHER...You must listen to me because really, I do know best.

I know why you must not swing the cabinet doors back and forth.

I know why you must take a bath AT LEAST 3 times a week and wash/condition/brush your very long hair, and scrub behind your ears and clean your face and brush your teeth.

I know why you must not run into the street without "stop, look and listen"...and my hand.

I know why you must eat a balanced diet and not chocolate ice cream for every meal.

I know why you shouldn't have a treat every night before bed.

I know why you MUST put your poop and pee in the pot...eventually.

I know that butterflies will not gouge your eyeballs out as they flutter by, so don't be so a-scared.

I know that you need your night light at bedtime, you don't have to remind me every .4 seconds while we are schnuggling in bed.

I also know that you are testing your boundaries and trying out your newly found independence and bravado...

However,

I am the MOTHER....

You must trust ME.

You must know that I love you with all my heart and I would never let anything happen to you.
You must know that I would move heaven and earth to protect you in this world.
You must know that you are my heart and I could never see it break.
You must know that without you safe in my arms, my life is incomplete and I could never live without you.
You must know, that I want you to be independent too, in time. Not yesterday. It will happen.
You must know that I need you to slow down. It will all happen. I promise.
And I know you know that I love you forever. Out of all the little girls in the world I got the very best one!

It's all about the Mother this week....

Silent Battles

Wow! I feel 1,00 times better after this post!
Thank you for the comments!
_________________________________
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
- AA Milne
_________________________________

Arguing without opening your mouth.
What goes where and who puts them there in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter, but christ it's annoying as hell.

The wonders of marriage/living together:

• The hairbrushes not put away in the bathroom.
• The milk left on the counter and not returned to its rightful place in the fridge.
• Toothpaste stains left on the glass ledge in the bathroom.
• The (long) hair left in the drain.
• The makeup fragments on the bathroom sink.
• The dirty kitchen sink.
• Unloading/loading the dishwasher.
• Dishes left on the counter and not put in the dishwasher.
• Laundry on the floor and not in the basket.
• Newspapers piled up all over.
  
• Socks under the coffee table.
• The coffee table and where it is hiding under all the toys.

How do you deal with your silent battles? What are they?

Girl at large

We met Girl's new pediatrician(s) last night. What wonderful women. The only male doctor in the practice couldn't make it to the consult but that's okay. I loved these two women.

Dr. L was strong yet lovable with Girl and Dr. K was so sweet, I couldn't take it. We made a point to express our concerns and issues that we had with Dr. Anus and we told them that really the only thing we wanted was a practice that accepts us for who we are as first time parents. Silly questions and all..and their answer, there are no silly questions when you are a parent. Ah-Men!

Dr. L talked straight to Girl and expected her to answer politely, make eye contact and be well behaved. I was shocked at how well Girl responded. She pulled her usual, "I'm not talking" act but Dr. L didn't fall for it. She told Girl that she has four kids at home, one being 13 and Girl was 'nothing!" I loved that.

We discussed the potty issue and they agreed it was a power play because really all she can control in her life is two things. Potty and Food. So, she is acting appropriately for her age and she'll get it. They assured me. They didn't seem the least bit annoyed about her pamper.

She offered Girl cookies if and only if Girl said "please and thank you" and she offered Girl a lollipop after the consult was over but Girl could only eat it after dinner. Of course Girl fought it, but Dr. L just replied..."Well, then you don't get a lollipop." Plain and simple. How easy. I know.

And guess what? When we got home, Girl made sure that only after her dinner would she be able to eat the lollipop. I was floored.

Of course, I questioned my authority with Girl after the meeting because I felt that Girl looked a little bratty to the Doctors. But Mista set me straight. He had to remind me where she was just a year ago when she wouldn't even walk into the new place without a major meltdown. She seemed confident and sure of herself. Bratty, but confident. I'd rather that. I can reform bratty, I can't teach confidence...

So, all in all it went well. I like the Doctors and I think they are a good team. I liked the way they interacted with Girl and let her know they mean business but were soft and caring at the same time. I think I'll like it here. I hope.

I can't seem to stop questioning my abilities especially after meeting with doctors. I always feel like a schmuck. But I guess I'll just hafta get over that one. Just like Girl hasta get over her brattyness.

Yes, I had wine when I got home last night. A yummy Pino Grigio. Made everything seem a little better...

We have a birthday party to go to this evening...Get ready everyone!!!
And thank you for all the fantastic comments with my last few posts. Damnit I swear, I never had this many cool people in my life before...You guys all rock.
**************************
On a totally unrelated note: This man is my new favorite. We watched the movie last night. "Is Nice!"

We went to go see my BFF's dog in "Day Care" at PetSmart while she's yukking it up in Las Vegas for her Birthday. This is what we found. "They having sexy time...is nice!"

call the bunghole mafia...in need of help here...

hi. dont tell them i was here...i need some help.

im gonna try to type this out fast because i dont wanna get into trouble again. theyre all out of the house and i dont have much time...my head hurts from all the beatings with the rolled up magazine. do you know, they put rubber bands around the ends of the magazine to keep it tight. well, it fucking hurts...those rubber bands. and i cant help peeing on the floor once in a while. im only a puppy.

friggin paws, how do you capitalize letters with paws? the question mark is hard enough.

as you know, i like to browse the web once in a while. i read a few blogs over mommys shoulder too and theres one blog in particular that I feel a certain bond with. especially today. jessica gave me a good idea today. she has this affinity for dana and my family does too.

you see, my big sister...they call her fafa around here...lately, she cant keep her finger out of my own dana. how humiliating. she is constantly jamming crap into it and all they do is laugh or get disgusted and wash her hands. whattabout my leather starfish? they dont check to see if it is alright. they dont wash it out to make sure the crayon is all gone.

they laugh.

and ignore me.

oh im sorry, did i get in your way with that marker up my ass...ok ill move.

so i need your help.

im begging for someone to tell these crazies that dog sodomy should be illegal if it isnt already. what do i hafta do to get some respect around here? i have had ass issues since i got here and they just dont seem to ever end. what is with these people? i think they bring it on themselves. i really do. they are obsessed with ass and i am stuck in the middle of it all.

and this friggin kid is a pest. just as i get comfortable on the couch i see the kid coming and i try to run away. i really do. i just cant seem to run fast enough. i dont have much space to hide. shes always up my butt. literally.

she squeezes my head till my eyes pop put, she yanks on my poor helpless tail, she tries to hug me with her clammy hands. then after she totally kicks my ass they lock me up. thats right. i get an hourly internal exam then i get locked up for it. does that make sense to you?

oh, she pretends to love me. yeah right. but i know the truth. she is evil. how many ass invasions do i hafta take before someone gets the hint here? and the kicker, they think its cute. they laugh and say awww look at dog and big sister...they love each other...holy shit. if only i could wrap my paws around her neck tight enough...then theyd get it.

im suffering people. is this what you humans do for fun? are colonoscopies a treat for you? why do i hafta hear her stomping towards me yelling im gonna put my finger in dogs ass...look at dogs ass mommy, its pink...no shit sherlock. its pink. and my poop is brown you know your colors genius.

im desperate. im asking anyone out there to help. call someone. anyone. help me get this kids fingers out of my ass...jessica...are you there...help me.....for the love of dana....

shit. theyre home....that fucking magazine again....gotta go....

Fartsie

This dog will not stop pissing in his crate. I let him out often. He pees and poops normally. But if he drinks, he pees. What the?

I can NOT sit on top of him every waking second. I am gonna lose my ever lovin' mind. What did I get my poor-stressed out self into?

Anyone want a puppy?