The phone rang and I answered it. I was expecting this call. It was Girl's doctor and I needed to speak with him urgently. We talked for a good 20 minutes while Girl watched The Upside Down Show. I hung up with my new found information and started tidying up the house.
I cleaned the floors because it was raining outside and I vacuumed the rug because we were having a play date. They were due over at noon.
Then, the phone rang again.
"Where's your dog?" The question was asked by a husky, unfamiliar voice. I ran to the side door and called for Art. No answer. No sight of Art anywhere.
I closed the door and peeked out the side windows. Girl started getting nervous and so was I. This was a creepy voice.
"Who is this?" I asked warily.
"I have your dog." Said the voice on the other end of the line.
"Who is this?" I asked again impatiently.
"I want $2,500 in cash or I keep your dog. Place it in a plastic Target bag on the corner of the block. Don't call the police, you won't catch me. Don't try to watch me pick up the cash, it won't be me...Someone will be waiting"
The phone clicked. Dial tone.
I ignored him. It had to be an April Fools joke.
I called again for Art to no avail. He was nowhere to be found. I searched some more through the neighborhood. Nothing.
The phone rang about an hour later.
I picked it up.
It was the same voice on the other end...I heard a dog barking in the background.
"Where's my money?" He asked angrily.
"You can keep him!" I yelled as I hung up the phone.
A smile crept across my face as the thoughts of a clean home and no dog piss on my floor entered my brain.
Then, I woke up. It was a fantastic dream while it lasted.
Damnit.
